Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.93
That’s it, Bella! I’m sending you home!
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.94
You didn’t do anything. That’s the problem. You never do anything.
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.95
Trouble would be better than this… this moping around all the time!
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.95
Moping would be better—that would be doing something. You’re just… lifeless, Bella.
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.95
I didn’t know much about psychoanalysis, but I was pretty sure that it didn’t work unless the subject was relatively honest. Sure, I could tell the truth—if I wanted to spend the rest of my life in a padded cell.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.96
I don’t think I can live through seeing you try harder. I’ve never seen anyone trying so hard. It hurts to watch.
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.97
I want you to be happy—no, not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable.
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.97
We both know what’s really going on here, Bella, and it’s not good for you. It’s been months. No calls, no letters, no contact. You can’t keep waiting for him.
Charlie Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.97
In my haste to get away from Charlie, I ended up being one of the first ones to school. The plus side was that I got a really good parking spot. The downside was that I had free time on my hands, and I tried to avoid free time at all costs.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.98
The scene kept cutting between the horrified face of the heroine, and the dead, emotionless face of her pursuer, back and forth as it closed the distance. And I realized which one resembled me the most.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.106
I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony. But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end, I would wind up as a zombie. I hadn’t seen that one coming.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.106
It was depressing to realize that I wasn’t the heroine anymore, that my story was over.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.106
I didn’t think you were scared—I was screaming all the time, but I didn’t hear you scream once.
Jessica Stanley, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.107
It was inevitable that I would have nightmares, but they wouldn’t be about zombies.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.107
What was I doing? I should be running from this memory as fast as I could, blocking the image of the four lounging men from my mind, protecting myself with the numbness I couldn’t function without. Why was I stepping, dazed, into the street?
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.109
I saw no reason for fear. I couldn’t imagine anything in the world that there was left to be afraid of, not physically at least. One of the few advantages of losing everything.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.110
Are you crazy? Are you suicidal?
Jessica Stanley, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.110
I wasn’t suicidal. Even in the beginning, when death unquestionably would have been a relief, I didn’t consider it. I owed too much to Charlie. I felt too responsible for Renee. I had to think of them. And I’d made a promise not to do anything stupid or reckless. For all those reasons, I was still breathing.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.110
In the instant that I heard his voice, everything was very clear. Like my head had suddenly surfaced out of some dark pool. I was more aware of everything—sight, sound, the feel of the cold air that I hadn’t noticed was blowing sharply against my face, the smells coming from the open bar door.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.111
Option one: I was crazy. That was the layman’s term for people who heard voices in their heads. Possible.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.112
I was not allowed to think of him. That was something I tried to be very strict about. Of course I slipped; I was only human. But I was getting better, and so the pain was something I could avoid for days at a time now. The tradeoff was the never-ending numbness. Between pain and nothing, I’d chosen nothing.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.113
The anger was what I wanted to hear—false, fabricated evidence that he cared, a dubious gift from my subconscious.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.113
What were you thinking? You don’t know them—they could have been psychopaths!
Jessica Stanley, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.115
You are so odd, Bella Swan. I feel like I don’t know who you are.
Jessica Stanley, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.115
Instead of shying away from the memories, I’d walked forward and greeted them. I’d heard his voice, so clearly, in my head. That was going to cost me, I was sure of it. Especially if I couldn’t reclaim the haze to protect myself. I felt too alert, and that frightened me.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.116
As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget. I worried—late in the night, when the exhaustion of sleep deprivation broke down my defenses—that it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve, and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I could not think of them, but I must remember them. Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be able to live—I had to know that he existed. That was all. Everything else I could endure. So long as he existed.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.116
Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.117
It didn’t feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I’d grown strong enough to bear it.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.118
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t know what to expect in the morning.
Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 4, p.119
